


Surviving the night

by roobdoo52



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments (Movies), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood-centric, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, BAMF Alec Lightwood, BAMF Magnus Bane, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Alec Lightwood, Getting Back Together, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insomnia, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Mild Blood, Multi, New York City, OCD, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Post-Break Up, Protective Alec Lightwood, Suicide Attempt, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:22:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29887965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roobdoo52/pseuds/roobdoo52
Summary: At first he assumed that the long evening hours spent at the institute and meticulous cleaning rituals at their home were shrewd attempts to avoid the warlock. On the contrary his Alexander had been left to fight a different type of battle that he was already at a disadvantage to if the Claves' approach to physical health was anything remotely similar to their approach to mental health.
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	Surviving the night

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I'm new to posting on here so go easy ;) but essentially this is an Alec centric fic set after season 2 episode 20. I'm just going to ignore Sebastian however I may write about it later. I'm not going to set timings since I haven't really done this before and I don't think I'll stick to it anyway but I do intend on updating as frequently as I can.

Audibly sighing Magnus filled his drink, sat on his plush velvety chair before dipping his pinky in the drink, stirring and taking a  _ long  _ drawn out sip. 

He knew that Alec, a mere child, had an  _ extraordinary _ burden to carry as a leader and a leader of one of the  _ largest  _ institutes in America. He also knew that everything that had happened recently in the war against valentine had put a strain on the young nephilim. Despite this, he apparently hadn't quite grasped the magnitude of the situation if Alec's recent behaviour was anything to go by. 

At first he assumed that the long evening hours spent at the institute and meticulous cleaning rituals at their home were shrewd attempts to avoid the warlock. Hysterical throaty laughter rumbled deep within the warlock as he took stock of the situation.

A black hole seemed to have perched itself neatly along Alec's hunched shoulders _burdening_ him with guilt, no one could withstand for an excessive amount of time. Simultaneously it appeared to leech life from his lover's body, mind and soul. Alec seemed to be a total ghost of himself nowadays and it frustrated him that he couldn't pinpoint exactly when this change had happened. Alec was naturally pale however his skin now appeared washed out and clammy. Complementary to his sickly complexion where dull sunken eyes surrounded by a pool of purple bruising. Over time, his slim figure seemed to have dwindled creating a half life appearance. It reminded him of that fateful night, where he was briefly acquainted with the ledge. Seeing him teetering between life and death was an image eternally scarred into the warlock's memory. 

It reminded him of his time with The Blackfriars Bridge. Whispers floating along the wind. Calling him from the depths of the dark murky waters, drawing him in and capturing his attention and preventing him from looking away. Distant rumblings from the life around the city were a whitenoise in the background to his thoughts. Bitter, glacial wind slammed itself into him and whipped themselves across his body thrusting him ever nearer to the edge. He was powerless to stop any of it.

_ It would only be a matter of simply stepping into eternal peace. End the suffering of everyone around you.  _

Then Camille had stopped me. As vindictive and calculating as she was, that night  _ she _ was the one to talk me down. Like talking to a frightened animal her long golden locks and charming smile had won over the bridge's siren call. And thus from one grasp of torture I had plundged unknowingly into another. 

So taking all of this into consideration he had unconsciously trusted his own experiences and time with the man to be able to spot the signs of Alexander drowning. Oh, what an old fool he was. He wished desperately like a starving man that it wasn’t true but what he’d witnessed over the past couple of days had stacked up. His prayers had gone unanswered and with it went his previously feeble belief that there  _ was  _ in fact a god somewhere. 

On the contrary his Alexander had been left to fight a different type of battle that he was already at a disadvantage to if the Claves' approach to physical health was anything remotely similar to their approach to mental health. 

It really shouldn’t have come as a surprise that after fighting a losing battle for so long, his angel might begin to crack. To top it all off instead of being there for him he had contributed to his beloved's stresses, cruelly leaving him and totally undermining their partnership as leaders and lovers. It sent shivers down his spine since it was such a parallel to his own torture with Camille. This is not to say Alec was without fault however the deception with the soul-sword was a stab to his brittle and frail heart, breaking him into pieces he didn’t even know could exist. Sometimes warlocks as ancient as the pyramids could make mistakes like mortals. Nevertheless, the time for excuses had long passed it's due date, he just hoped that after all was said and done there would still be a chance to remedy Alec of the demons permeating his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :) any comments and kudos appreciated.


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